一人ぽっちっていう気持ちでいっぱい。。。
すごく静かな生活をしてる。毎日は自分で決まる予定なんだ。。。食事とか、勉強とか、全部はあたしだけの決まり。
多分、日本語しか使えられなかったら、気がついた人もないかもしれない。
Saturday, September 27, 2008
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
Sunday, August 3, 2008
Connections
Yesterday was amazing. All of New York seemed to be fine with talking to me. I felt rather like I was passing it on, showing someone that people aren't terrified of connecting, opening them up to the possibility of the next person. I wonder what it would be like to make a game of telephone to span the city, propelling people to find someone to pass along to.
5:23 PM 40th and 5th, a man accosted me with his stare and asked me in wonderful English where the Converse store on the Fifth Avenue was. I said I had no idea.
5:28 PM crossing 36th and 6th, I got yelled at, "Hey beautiful....Hey!" when I didn't register it.
5:37 PM back up 37th and 6th to get a coffee, a short guy got in step with me. "Hey, I like your boots....Are you from Europe?" ("No, from here") "Oh....You're not Jewish, are you?"
5:43 PM 40th and 6th Giggled at the coffee man when I didn't notice the straws that were right in front of me. It got him to smile.
5:55 PM 40th and 6th, waiting for Soojean in Bryant Park. A wonderful chain of connections. There was a girl on her cellphone talking very loudly about nothing and an iPod in an elevator. As she crossed the street, shouting something about "yeah, I just had to get it", a guy passed her and he picked up with "Yeah, had to get it!!" He saw me laughing at this from the street and said "You hear her too?" "Yeah, from like three blocks away, I'm sure!" "I dunno who she's talkin to, must be deaf or something. Sheesh". You always think it, but this is the first time someone said it.
7:48 PM PS 1 courtyard, at the Warm Up NYC music festival, dancing away with Soojean, we encountered the staggering guy. At first I thought he was trying to be sketchy, but he had no balance for anything. He basically fell into her, and on his way through the crowd did the same to a few more girls. One pretended to swing at him with her purse as he lurched away, and I told her she should really go for it.
8:40 PM PS 1 courtyard, still dancing, and it had just begun to rain. Sooj went in, but for the rest of us dancing and being happy just got so much more important. But, as always, there were obstacles. I had some tall, slightly foreign-sounding man come up to me and praise my dancing, saying it was "very 80's". I replied that I never knew the 80's, and he laughed but it didn't deter him; I got enthusiastically invited to take the water taxi with him later, of course because of the beautiful view. I live here, I know what New York looks like from places not Manhattan.
8:50 I got his hand on my back and another invitation, but luckily he left.
9:14 23rd/Ely station, three girls and their three guys passed, and I was just wondering what their relationship was when I got the typical half-whispered "Hey, beautiful" that puts you on edge. Third time today?
9:38 PM, E train from 23rd/Ely to 34th street had two huge skinhead guys rapping on shared iPod earbuds, and a big group of kids interacting with them, singing and working off of them. The eerie robotic effect was really amazing, but the man to our left moved away and the guy across from us with his girlfriend was shaking his head. "Saturday night in New York, huh", he said perhaps to her perhaps to us, "who needs to go to a club when you can just get on the subway", and I told him he should see it at New Years. He went on and told us a lot about what the subway and Times Square used to be like in the 70s and 80s, and recommended some films and YouTube clips as he left at 42nd.
Late o'clock, 2nd floor bar in KTown with Soojean and her boy, the table across from us was getting rowdy. Soojean had just been educating us on how to say "what are you doing tonight?" in Korean when I was motioned to come over by a couple guys at the other table. They wanted to ask me something. I sat down, and a very drunk Korean guy proceeded to ask me if I knew what he meant by "Voulez....vous....couche....avec......moi?" Except it was actually a random assortment of other vowels and consonants that only vaguely resembled the French. I cracked up, although not as violently as Sooj, and launched into conversation with his apparently French friend about the ineffectiveness of that kind of tack - we suggested to him "Comment t'appellez-tu?" as a better starting point for a conversation. Then they started falling apart trying to discuss this without looking like they were hitting on each other.
5:23 PM 40th and 5th, a man accosted me with his stare and asked me in wonderful English where the Converse store on the Fifth Avenue was. I said I had no idea.
5:28 PM crossing 36th and 6th, I got yelled at, "Hey beautiful....Hey!" when I didn't register it.
5:37 PM back up 37th and 6th to get a coffee, a short guy got in step with me. "Hey, I like your boots....Are you from Europe?" ("No, from here") "Oh....You're not Jewish, are you?"
5:43 PM 40th and 6th Giggled at the coffee man when I didn't notice the straws that were right in front of me. It got him to smile.
5:55 PM 40th and 6th, waiting for Soojean in Bryant Park. A wonderful chain of connections. There was a girl on her cellphone talking very loudly about nothing and an iPod in an elevator. As she crossed the street, shouting something about "yeah, I just had to get it", a guy passed her and he picked up with "Yeah, had to get it!!" He saw me laughing at this from the street and said "You hear her too?" "Yeah, from like three blocks away, I'm sure!" "I dunno who she's talkin to, must be deaf or something. Sheesh". You always think it, but this is the first time someone said it.
7:48 PM PS 1 courtyard, at the Warm Up NYC music festival, dancing away with Soojean, we encountered the staggering guy. At first I thought he was trying to be sketchy, but he had no balance for anything. He basically fell into her, and on his way through the crowd did the same to a few more girls. One pretended to swing at him with her purse as he lurched away, and I told her she should really go for it.
8:40 PM PS 1 courtyard, still dancing, and it had just begun to rain. Sooj went in, but for the rest of us dancing and being happy just got so much more important. But, as always, there were obstacles. I had some tall, slightly foreign-sounding man come up to me and praise my dancing, saying it was "very 80's". I replied that I never knew the 80's, and he laughed but it didn't deter him; I got enthusiastically invited to take the water taxi with him later, of course because of the beautiful view. I live here, I know what New York looks like from places not Manhattan.
8:50 I got his hand on my back and another invitation, but luckily he left.
9:14 23rd/Ely station, three girls and their three guys passed, and I was just wondering what their relationship was when I got the typical half-whispered "Hey, beautiful" that puts you on edge. Third time today?
9:38 PM, E train from 23rd/Ely to 34th street had two huge skinhead guys rapping on shared iPod earbuds, and a big group of kids interacting with them, singing and working off of them. The eerie robotic effect was really amazing, but the man to our left moved away and the guy across from us with his girlfriend was shaking his head. "Saturday night in New York, huh", he said perhaps to her perhaps to us, "who needs to go to a club when you can just get on the subway", and I told him he should see it at New Years. He went on and told us a lot about what the subway and Times Square used to be like in the 70s and 80s, and recommended some films and YouTube clips as he left at 42nd.
Late o'clock, 2nd floor bar in KTown with Soojean and her boy, the table across from us was getting rowdy. Soojean had just been educating us on how to say "what are you doing tonight?" in Korean when I was motioned to come over by a couple guys at the other table. They wanted to ask me something. I sat down, and a very drunk Korean guy proceeded to ask me if I knew what he meant by "Voulez....vous....couche....avec......moi?" Except it was actually a random assortment of other vowels and consonants that only vaguely resembled the French. I cracked up, although not as violently as Sooj, and launched into conversation with his apparently French friend about the ineffectiveness of that kind of tack - we suggested to him "Comment t'appellez-tu?" as a better starting point for a conversation. Then they started falling apart trying to discuss this without looking like they were hitting on each other.
Friday, July 11, 2008
Bridget Jones
Once out in freezing cold assured woman of substance evaporated into insecurity. Had to walk past workmen working under bright lights on gas main. Was wearing v. short coat and boots so braced myself to deal with lewd catcalls and embarrassing remarks then felt complete arse when none came.
Tee hee.
Thursday, July 10, 2008
Fireworks
I saw two sets of fireworks this Fourth of July! One over the water in a boat (we were basically right under it) in New Jersey and then went to Philly the next night for more. Very spectacular.
Philly:
Philly:
Wednesday, July 2, 2008
WALL-E is adorable
Actually, I didn't think he was adorable as the more iPod-y robots. But it was great. I'm amazed at Pixar, and especially impressed with how well what they can do works with robots and the futuristic setting, as opposed to eerily-unrealistic people and rodents. Do share thoughts, please :)
Saturday, June 28, 2008
Friday, June 27, 2008
Thursday, June 26, 2008
Murakami is wonderful.
Genevieve and I went to the Brooklyn Museum's exhibit yesterday, it was fabulous. It was fun to run around with her because she doesn't seem to take any of this seriously. I'm not sure if there's any value in actually doing that. The labels tried very hard to put some deeper meaning to everything, which kind of just made us giggle. Apparently he wanted to make art "that makes your mind go blank, that leaves you gaping". I suppose laughing is a kind of natural way to deal with that kind of overload. That or running away.
Here's the link to the exhibit, with some general information. I also took pictures of Tongari-kun, set up in the front of the museum.
And here's something from the animations they were showing. It's so cute...
Here's the link to the exhibit, with some general information. I also took pictures of Tongari-kun, set up in the front of the museum.
And here's something from the animations they were showing. It's so cute...
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
雨
今日出かけたばかり、雨を降った。でもね、びっくりに、すごく楽しかった。
The first time I left the house today, I had only gotten down the street when it started raining. But instead of being annoying, it was really nice to walk in. I didn't care.
Click to enlarge, please - it's a crappy scan, and doesn't do well shrunk.
The first time I left the house today, I had only gotten down the street when it started raining. But instead of being annoying, it was really nice to walk in. I didn't care.
Click to enlarge, please - it's a crappy scan, and doesn't do well shrunk.
Monday, June 23, 2008
Sunday, June 22, 2008
Bubble Battle 2008
Hundreds of people came to Times Square on Saturday evening with bubble wands, bubble guns, bubble sword-shaped wands, even a helmet-mounted bubble blower. It was really fantastic to see so many people blowing bubbles, and it was impossible to transcribe how the bubbles looked in the sky and against all the flashing ads of Times Square.
Every time a tour bus came by, everyone cheered. It must have surprised the tourists to see something like this - some of the tour guides seemed pretty openly mystified as well. If it's advertising New Yorkers as pleasant, though, that's priceless.
At one point, someone pointed out that a couple of the bubbles looked opaque, grey compared with the rest of the clear ones. The reason was that some of the kids next to us were experimenting with blowing cigarette smoke through a bubble wand, instead of regular air. They were like floating crystal balls, and looked great against the sky, in contrast with the rest of the bubbles. But the best part was watching them pop, when they exploded into a puff of smoke. Bubbles that actually leave a trace when they go.
Every time a tour bus came by, everyone cheered. It must have surprised the tourists to see something like this - some of the tour guides seemed pretty openly mystified as well. If it's advertising New Yorkers as pleasant, though, that's priceless.
At one point, someone pointed out that a couple of the bubbles looked opaque, grey compared with the rest of the clear ones. The reason was that some of the kids next to us were experimenting with blowing cigarette smoke through a bubble wand, instead of regular air. They were like floating crystal balls, and looked great against the sky, in contrast with the rest of the bubbles. But the best part was watching them pop, when they exploded into a puff of smoke. Bubbles that actually leave a trace when they go.
Monday, June 16, 2008
LAB
I woke up this morning around the time I had been getting home the past few days, in order to go in to my old high school with my sister for her last day. It is still so early, I can't believe it.
I sat in on Spanish class, where they were just watching class videos, but they were amusing. There were some that were made with the teachers too, which were awesome because I got to see my old teachers being silly. After that we went to the cafeteria for "Senior Tea", which was all sorts of very sweet things and some tasty lemon tea. I sat at a table with my sister and her friends, and at one point one of the teachers motioned for me to get up. I thought maybe I was in the way of her picture or she wanted to talk to me or something, but she had a "I've found you out" look that meant I had to leave. I was a little confused until Alice said "That's my sister", and it turned out that the teacher had thought that I was a tenth-grader trying to sneak in! Besides that I'm a year away from graduating from college.....
I got to say hi to a few teachers, who were alternately confusing me with my sister, being surprised to see someone so old and being surprised that they weren't surprised, that it felt like they always saw me in that building. I guess my apparent age is supremely subjective? (For anyone who cares, I saw Ms Weinstein, Ms Dillon, Ms Valentin, Ms Decastro, and Mr Marlowe, who taught me math in 6th grade, my first year at LAB middle school!). It was mostly just strange to be back in that building. I can see becoming a teacher, but it would be pretty scary to have to be there again.
I sat in on Spanish class, where they were just watching class videos, but they were amusing. There were some that were made with the teachers too, which were awesome because I got to see my old teachers being silly. After that we went to the cafeteria for "Senior Tea", which was all sorts of very sweet things and some tasty lemon tea. I sat at a table with my sister and her friends, and at one point one of the teachers motioned for me to get up. I thought maybe I was in the way of her picture or she wanted to talk to me or something, but she had a "I've found you out" look that meant I had to leave. I was a little confused until Alice said "That's my sister", and it turned out that the teacher had thought that I was a tenth-grader trying to sneak in! Besides that I'm a year away from graduating from college.....
I got to say hi to a few teachers, who were alternately confusing me with my sister, being surprised to see someone so old and being surprised that they weren't surprised, that it felt like they always saw me in that building. I guess my apparent age is supremely subjective? (For anyone who cares, I saw Ms Weinstein, Ms Dillon, Ms Valentin, Ms Decastro, and Mr Marlowe, who taught me math in 6th grade, my first year at LAB middle school!). It was mostly just strange to be back in that building. I can see becoming a teacher, but it would be pretty scary to have to be there again.
Sunday, June 15, 2008
Neutral Ground
I had to duck under police tape twice to get home. The subway exit closest to my house gets flooded really easily, which I suppose was the reason. But I am immune, because I have new shiny black rubber boots and I couldn't be happier. It was also of course fun to feel like a renegade.
This typing is undergoing significant edit as I go, as every other word ends up typo'd. I have trouble in this state.
I was also walking on the ceiling on the way home. I had to walk through a construction site walkway that was flooded. On the way there, the reflection in the water covering the floor made it seem like there was an enormous drop. On the way back, it looked like I was walking on the ceiling, with the lights and beams reflected on the floor, but destroyed as soon as I took a step.
Neutral Ground was amazing. I've probably found a new home in New York City. It was a party with free booze and tons of food and guys playing videogames, and a DJ all night. No one danced, but there was a DJ, with records and everything. I miss TH so much it hurts so that felt really good to see.
I can't yet see quite straight, or type straight. It is probably a bad idea to try to sleep right now, but I feel so far from the keyboard...
Most of my time at Neutral Ground was spent in the basement with the food, chatting with some guys about Japan and such related things. I also played some DDR, but it was new DDR that also used the Wii, so it was like some bastard combination of DDR, ITG and ParaParaParadise. It was insane and trippy and less intended for those prone to epileptic fits than any game I have ever experienced. It made me with my new-generation short attention span feel old and stupid. Are today's fourteen-year-olds able to do this crap?? What is the world coming to???
Anyways. I have a kitty!! It is the cat from FLCL, and it is my souvenir of the night and donation to the cause. It's cute, but I wish it had just a little bit more meaning. Most of my treasured stuffed animals are associated with specific people, for better or for worse. Often for worse. But those ones get packed up eventually.
I am glad I found this place.
This typing is undergoing significant edit as I go, as every other word ends up typo'd. I have trouble in this state.
I was also walking on the ceiling on the way home. I had to walk through a construction site walkway that was flooded. On the way there, the reflection in the water covering the floor made it seem like there was an enormous drop. On the way back, it looked like I was walking on the ceiling, with the lights and beams reflected on the floor, but destroyed as soon as I took a step.
Neutral Ground was amazing. I've probably found a new home in New York City. It was a party with free booze and tons of food and guys playing videogames, and a DJ all night. No one danced, but there was a DJ, with records and everything. I miss TH so much it hurts so that felt really good to see.
I can't yet see quite straight, or type straight. It is probably a bad idea to try to sleep right now, but I feel so far from the keyboard...
Most of my time at Neutral Ground was spent in the basement with the food, chatting with some guys about Japan and such related things. I also played some DDR, but it was new DDR that also used the Wii, so it was like some bastard combination of DDR, ITG and ParaParaParadise. It was insane and trippy and less intended for those prone to epileptic fits than any game I have ever experienced. It made me with my new-generation short attention span feel old and stupid. Are today's fourteen-year-olds able to do this crap?? What is the world coming to???
Anyways. I have a kitty!! It is the cat from FLCL, and it is my souvenir of the night and donation to the cause. It's cute, but I wish it had just a little bit more meaning. Most of my treasured stuffed animals are associated with specific people, for better or for worse. Often for worse. But those ones get packed up eventually.
I am glad I found this place.
Saturday, June 14, 2008
Todays
It is currently 6:03 AM. I am still awake.
Yesterday, when this all started, I wandered around the city for the day until going to a Klimt exhibit with my parents, and then out to dinner. Then I met up with Jason Lee in Times Square, had a little impromptu iPod dance party with him in front of tourists taking pictures, and went off to find a bar. He had a whiskey sour that I partook of, and we went off to a jazz club where other friends were trying to down Kamikazes that were apparently not so good. Some guy came over and asked "what's the matter with them?"; apparently he was the manager and got them new drinks, prepared properly without the tequila. And also befriended them and said they could have half off or something. Which was kickass. We stayed there as it was closing up, and then they were going to meet Joey's cousin at Hard Rock.
I've never been to the Hard Rock Cafe. It wasn't necessarily in my interests, but it was nice to have something to look at while you don't drink because they card. I feel like it's the best way to celebrate still being 20. Even though I can't get into most places, it's nice to still feel like a baby even though I'm pretty old now. I can still feel barely legal >.<
I told the girls (Stephanie and Vanessa, both in from New Jersey it seems) about my situation, and they said they could probably get me past the bouncer in the bar they usually go to. We walked down to around 34th street, getting free pretzel samples and being asked to pick a number from a group of people trying to make a decision. They told me to just say I only brought my college ID, and although the guys at the bar didn't fully believe me, they let me in because no one else's ID was "funny". I hung out with the group and got some cocktail that tasted like pool water and was made with vodka, peach schnapps and cranberry juice and had no name.
I don't think New Yorkers are aggressive, the way Daniel does. I think you can go up to them and talk to them and I think that's amazing. There's a fabulous comeraderie among people who are similarly aged and similarly drunk. Girls were telling me how cute I looked, discussing their situations like they knew me. The crucial and amazing part is that I only know them for this night, and I crave that. I'm not this me for more than one night, it breaks down. I don't think that's because it isn't me; I think it's because it's hard to hold up the real me for long enough.
We ordered some music at the jukebox and waited around for it to come on, chatting and telling me to cheer up. I was perfectly happy, I was just perfectly happy to be watching. This is all a bit new to me anyways, I don't usually go barhopping.
The oddest and most amazing thing, though...We were standing outside cos some of the girls were smoking, and someone poked me and said "There's someone staring at you" and it was some guy, and then I noticed that he was with Bill and Julie from FSI! I was kind of amazed, I couldn't believe it. Julie is a sweetheart, I was really glad she was there. Especially as that guy continued to hit on me, which was mostly a fun game but a little bit awkward. He was trying to convince me that he was 22, when his driver's license said 1980. I ended up just not believing anything he said. He accused me of seeming angry and not smiling and giving him a hard time, but I figured that if he thought that hitting on a 20-year-old was going to be easy he would just find out otherwise. It's just a game. I know what they want so I know how to not give it to them. アタシの町だ。
The dude was pretty persistent. Adam texted to say he was going to sleep, so I went outside to call him while I had a chance, and a few minutes into it the dude comes out and starts pestering me. He was yelling "boyfriend!" and grabbed my phone and started trying to have some useless conversation. I'm hoping Adam honestly found it entertaining, because it was pretty funny to me, but I wasn't sure if it was a nuisance. Time goes more slowly in that state - you have nothing to do, so no one is wasting your time. But it might be different on the other end of the line.
I think the dude finally went back inside, and I didn't see him again. I stayed outside with the girls and Jason Lee. There was a guy in suspenders smoking by the grate, so I went up to him and asked him who he was. He was Daniel, which was slightly disappointing. We discussed Things for I suppose the rest of the night, Jason Lee chaperoning us down the street, where we found an abandoned mattress to hang out on.
I was the one who noticed that it was getting light. 「朝になちゃうよ」. We were out there until around 5 in the morning, when a homeless man informed us that we were hanging out on his bed. He wanted weed money, and would sell us some disgusting sex toy that he stole from the nearby store for five bucks. The boys had their perverse fun playing around with it, but I had to leave. It reminded me how people think of us. The man joked that he didn't mind if we used his bed for an orgy, except that the guys would have to leave. I protested that that wouldn't be much of an orgy. It was light so it wasn't scary, and I could just leave.
Daniel ended up getting on my train, to get the ferry to Staten Island. He had a shirt with no buttons left, and he had pulled the fabric through the buttonholes to keep it on. I offered my sewing kit, and in the time it took us to get from Christopher Street to Franklin I sewed one on. He wanted another, even though my stop was next, and in some strange luck the train paused in the tunnel just long enough for me to finish.
I don't think he wanted me to leave, but that's how it goes. I said Maybe I'll run into you again, and he said Never, and I left. What I wanted to say was, Are you afraid?
Yesterday, when this all started, I wandered around the city for the day until going to a Klimt exhibit with my parents, and then out to dinner. Then I met up with Jason Lee in Times Square, had a little impromptu iPod dance party with him in front of tourists taking pictures, and went off to find a bar. He had a whiskey sour that I partook of, and we went off to a jazz club where other friends were trying to down Kamikazes that were apparently not so good. Some guy came over and asked "what's the matter with them?"; apparently he was the manager and got them new drinks, prepared properly without the tequila. And also befriended them and said they could have half off or something. Which was kickass. We stayed there as it was closing up, and then they were going to meet Joey's cousin at Hard Rock.
I've never been to the Hard Rock Cafe. It wasn't necessarily in my interests, but it was nice to have something to look at while you don't drink because they card. I feel like it's the best way to celebrate still being 20. Even though I can't get into most places, it's nice to still feel like a baby even though I'm pretty old now. I can still feel barely legal >.<
I told the girls (Stephanie and Vanessa, both in from New Jersey it seems) about my situation, and they said they could probably get me past the bouncer in the bar they usually go to. We walked down to around 34th street, getting free pretzel samples and being asked to pick a number from a group of people trying to make a decision. They told me to just say I only brought my college ID, and although the guys at the bar didn't fully believe me, they let me in because no one else's ID was "funny". I hung out with the group and got some cocktail that tasted like pool water and was made with vodka, peach schnapps and cranberry juice and had no name.
I don't think New Yorkers are aggressive, the way Daniel does. I think you can go up to them and talk to them and I think that's amazing. There's a fabulous comeraderie among people who are similarly aged and similarly drunk. Girls were telling me how cute I looked, discussing their situations like they knew me. The crucial and amazing part is that I only know them for this night, and I crave that. I'm not this me for more than one night, it breaks down. I don't think that's because it isn't me; I think it's because it's hard to hold up the real me for long enough.
We ordered some music at the jukebox and waited around for it to come on, chatting and telling me to cheer up. I was perfectly happy, I was just perfectly happy to be watching. This is all a bit new to me anyways, I don't usually go barhopping.
The oddest and most amazing thing, though...We were standing outside cos some of the girls were smoking, and someone poked me and said "There's someone staring at you" and it was some guy, and then I noticed that he was with Bill and Julie from FSI! I was kind of amazed, I couldn't believe it. Julie is a sweetheart, I was really glad she was there. Especially as that guy continued to hit on me, which was mostly a fun game but a little bit awkward. He was trying to convince me that he was 22, when his driver's license said 1980. I ended up just not believing anything he said. He accused me of seeming angry and not smiling and giving him a hard time, but I figured that if he thought that hitting on a 20-year-old was going to be easy he would just find out otherwise. It's just a game. I know what they want so I know how to not give it to them. アタシの町だ。
The dude was pretty persistent. Adam texted to say he was going to sleep, so I went outside to call him while I had a chance, and a few minutes into it the dude comes out and starts pestering me. He was yelling "boyfriend!" and grabbed my phone and started trying to have some useless conversation. I'm hoping Adam honestly found it entertaining, because it was pretty funny to me, but I wasn't sure if it was a nuisance. Time goes more slowly in that state - you have nothing to do, so no one is wasting your time. But it might be different on the other end of the line.
I think the dude finally went back inside, and I didn't see him again. I stayed outside with the girls and Jason Lee. There was a guy in suspenders smoking by the grate, so I went up to him and asked him who he was. He was Daniel, which was slightly disappointing. We discussed Things for I suppose the rest of the night, Jason Lee chaperoning us down the street, where we found an abandoned mattress to hang out on.
I was the one who noticed that it was getting light. 「朝になちゃうよ」. We were out there until around 5 in the morning, when a homeless man informed us that we were hanging out on his bed. He wanted weed money, and would sell us some disgusting sex toy that he stole from the nearby store for five bucks. The boys had their perverse fun playing around with it, but I had to leave. It reminded me how people think of us. The man joked that he didn't mind if we used his bed for an orgy, except that the guys would have to leave. I protested that that wouldn't be much of an orgy. It was light so it wasn't scary, and I could just leave.
Daniel ended up getting on my train, to get the ferry to Staten Island. He had a shirt with no buttons left, and he had pulled the fabric through the buttonholes to keep it on. I offered my sewing kit, and in the time it took us to get from Christopher Street to Franklin I sewed one on. He wanted another, even though my stop was next, and in some strange luck the train paused in the tunnel just long enough for me to finish.
I don't think he wanted me to leave, but that's how it goes. I said Maybe I'll run into you again, and he said Never, and I left. What I wanted to say was, Are you afraid?
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